Tuesday, June 9, 2009

"The #1 Offender"

Resentment is a funny thing. I have heard it be described as "when I drink the poison and wait for YOU to die". In my case resentment is when I eat the sugar in the hopes of punishing my dentist. Of course, this sort of behavior is certain to backfire. The only suffering the dentist will endure from a few extra cavities on my part is that he might have to buy a bigger wallet. Still, this ritual I have with the dentist goes back to some of my first dental visits, when I would try to consume as much brightly colored candy as possible directly before my appointments.

My dentist resentments began with Dr. Prelli. He was a nice enough old man, he had sort of a block head with thick glasses and a lab coat. I imagine he moved into that office in downtown New Canaan in the 1950's, and continued to work and live in a permanent state of the 1950's up through our meeting 3 decades later. My mother liked going to his office, mostly because he had a dental hygienist named Sharon, who had a great personality and was fun to socialize with. Sharon was okay, but she was always "breaking the bad news" to me. She would cock her brown curls to the side and say "looks like you have a few cavities, I am going to have to schedule an appointment for you with Dr. Prelli".

Dr. Prelli didn't believe in using Novocaine.

Later in life I learned that there actually WAS such a thing as Novocaine, and that I had been missing out on years of easy dental visits, the sort where you skip out of the front door with your pigtails and toothbrush, your cheeks damp with drool instead of tears. The sound of the dentist drill still brings me pain, no matter how many "slight pinches" of that numbing elixir that the dentist delivers with the sharp cold needle that the eager assistant tries so hard to obscure from view.
Today, at the dentist, I was well mannered. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry hot tears and dart away like I did as a child, rushing around the office dodging their blue and purple fingered grasps. I wanted to rip their drills and suction thingies and implements of torture out of their hands and demand that they go sit in the corner and think long and hard about what they have done. Instead, the only indicator of my boiling insides was the slightest clutch of my fingers and curling of my toes. As I was about to leave, the dentist said "now, watch out for sweets"...

Today's dressing is dedicated to Dr. Prelli, the poor old block of a man, whom I used to torture with my slush puppy blue teeth, and who spent many an appointment chasing me around the office with a lamp on his forehead.

The dressing:
saute 1/2 sweet yellow onion in 1 tsp of canola oil with a sprinkle of salt. When it starts to wilt add 1 clove garlic. When the onion turns slightly brown, shut off the heat. Transfer the cooked onion and garlic to your mini blender.
Add the other 1/2 (uncooked) onion
4 Tbsp canola oil
1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 Tbsp pure white dentist punishing sugar (laugh maniacally while you add this ingredient)
1 tsp yellow mustard powder
1-2 tsp ground ginger
Here is a fun idea (I haven't tried this, but I think it would be really good), add some wasabi powder!

For the salad, wash and chop some spinach. Add diced raw green pole beans, sliced red onion (optional, what dentist wouldn't love a little onion breath?) and sliced cherry tomatoes. Garnish with 1 hard boiled egg (for instructions on hard boiling an egg, see earlier post "Cold Ride Cafe Salad")

Christina's vote: "The green beans were a perfect touch for the flavorful salad"


  1. ok - so... you and christina can't possibly be eating all this salad can you? because... see... i'm hungry, like, basically always... and... yeah. :)