You contemplate deleting all of your friends from your facebook page so you don't have to hear about all the fun you missed out on. You even try to bully your partner into developing a third party resentment. No matter how good life gets, there is always some morsel on someone else's plate tempting your attention away from your own dinner.
Something has awoken the phantoms, long banished to the confines your memory and suddenly you can't concentrate on anything except the sounds of their rattling cages. You know the ghosts I mean. The one of the childhood nemesis who overtook you for the lead role in the play, the date you were rejected by, the test you left blank and then listened quietly to your friends recount how easy the questions were. It is the outfit you never wanted until you saw your best friend wearing it. And it burns, it burns..
You remember coming home and bursting into tears after that horrible night from your childhood, and maybe your mother was there to feed you bites of her salad off of her own fork. You never wanted to make your own, you always just wanted a bite of hers. Like a baby bird you sat on the floor while she shared with you the stories of her own childhood traumas.
As you chop the lettuce for todays salad, you begin to laugh at yourself for allowing your day to be swept into the pity pan, you allowed yourself to be frightened by the phantoms as though they were real. You were waiting for somebody to come along and nourish you, when you had all the right ingredients at your very own fingertips.
Make this salad for someone you love.
2 Tbsp soy sauce
1 Tbsp canola oil
2 Tbsp toasted sesame oil
Juice from 1/2 lemon
1 green onion chopped
a pinch of sugar
Make 2 hard boiled eggs (cover eggs with cold water and bring to a boil. Boil for 1 min, then turn the heat off and let sit, uncovered, for ~15 min) Rinse with cold water.
Chop 1/2 head romaine lettuce
peel and dice 1 carrot
peel and dice 1/2 English cucumber
cut up 1/2 avocado
dice 1 whole red pepper
dice 1 head fennel
garnish with sliced eggs on top
Christina's vote: "This salad made me feel alive and well"